The Lord my Pasture Shall Prepare...

so...this week has been, um, exciting? Yeah sure, let's go with that word.

This past Monday, My grandma Cordova, had a heart attack. No history of heart problems, no family history of heart conditions, just kind of out of the blue. That was scary. She had 2 blocked arteries, one was 98% blocked, the other 99%. The doctor's put in two stints and she was back home by Wednesday. It was a moderate heart attack with Mild damage done, so of course, that was a pretty big deal for the family.

This is the grandma that's been diagnosed with alzheimer's for 6 years, so she's really not in the best shape anyway. Like I said, it was kind of concerning. When the ambulance was called and the paramedics were there, Grandma was saying "I'm coming home Lord! God, I'm coming!" Later she told us that she was mad because God told her to come back, which looking back on it now, was somewhat humorous, especially if you know my crazy grandma, but still kind of caught the family by surprise.

So in the midst of all this the family has had a pretty busy week. Then today came.

My grandma the whole week has been talking about nothing but coming to church today, and the doctors wanted her to be fairly active again anyway, so even though she had just had the attack on Monday, she really wanted to come today. So this morning at the 8 o' clock service, my grandparents came in, and my grandma was a little pale, but the same as she's been.

Then, About 15 seconds into the sermon, she starts clutching her chest.

My mom tried to get her out to the narthex of the church, but she couldn't make it. I went out to call 911. I've never called 911 before.

The paramedics came and took her in the ambulance to the same hospital that she had just come out of Wednesday. Today was kind of intense. I suppose it made for a pretty eventful church service though. She's ok now I guess. Apparently the doctor's are saying that this wasn't necessarily a second heart attack, but more of an episode, whatever that means. God only knows what the future will be like for my grandma. Pray for my grandpa. It's hardest on him and even though he knows that she's eventually going to be in a better place, it still hurts him now to go through this, and he's really exhausted. Pray for peace that only God can give.

While my family (all 17 of us-and that's not even the whole family) were in the ER waiting room, I thought of 2 things:

First, Praise God for my family. Praise God that we don't have to go through this world alone and that there are people here to help us through.

Second, praise God that we only go through this world and that it is most certainly not our home. How amazingly encouraging is it to know that my grandma, as confused and crazy as she is doesn't have to fear her passing, but that she can look forward to it with joy and a longing to go home, to her real home, to be with her Shepherd. I don't know what other hope I would have in a situation like this if I didn't know the Truth. It would be devastating, and yet, since we do know, we can rejoice with her that she'll be in a much better place, where she won't have to suffer anything! What better reminder of God's promise is there? There's a hymn that I don't know the music to, but the lyrics are great:

"The Lord My Pasture Shall Prepare"by Joseph Addison

1. The Lord my pasture shall prepare
And feed me with a shepherd's care;
His presence shall my wants supply
And guard me with a watchful eye;
My noonday walks He shall attend
And all my midnight hours defend.

2. When in the sultry glebe I faint
Or on the thirsty mountain pant,
To fertile vales and dewy meads
My weary, wandering steps He leads,
Where peaceful rivers, soft and slow,
Amid the verdant landscape flow.

3. Though in the paths of death I tread,
With gloomy horrors overspread,
My steadfast heart shall fear no ill,
For Thou, O Lord, art with me still;
Thy friendly crook shall give me aid
And guide me through the dreadful shade.

Hey, um...I really don't mean to offend you, but...

Funny how a little sugar coating gives people the idea that they can say anything they want. In the South, the phrase "Well bless his/her/their heart(s)" is popular. However, do not be fooled. This is no ordinary invocation of a blessing upon someone's soul. No, no. What this actually is in fact, is a free ticket to say whatever you really feel about that person, while still making yourself look like a saint. "Well, bless his heart, it's a good thing that modern medicine will be able to cure that horrible facial structure" or "Bless her heart, if it weren't for her cheating on those standardized tests, she never would have made it out of first grade because she's so stupid bless her heart" or even "Hey, um I really don't mean to offend you, but did you know that your face looks like it was stepped on by a horse and then spit upon by a llama? But really, I don't mean to offend you." If you make a heart-blessed sandwich or say I don't mean to offend enough, you could insult Castro and still come out on top.

I bring this up because today, I had a meeting with a certain client that we will call "The richest, quite possibly most arrogant man I've ever met in real life" or how about Rich for short? Anyway, he starts off a sentence by saying "Hey, by the way, I really don't mean to offend you or anything, but..." and then proceeded to say something that to me was not particularly offensive, mostly because I'm not that easily offended, but was something that someone could have easily been upset by. No big deal, but it did make me think about how often people think that if they cushion what they really want to say with enough words, it will change the meaning. Note to Everyone: it really doesn't.

So that's the story for the day. The Moral? just keep it to yourself.

By the way....

Just in case you were thinking about going and running a quick mile and a half outside in Denver when it's 101 degrees farenheit outside...

DONT.

It's just not worth it. Trust me.

Te amo Peru...

Well I'm back to the real world now. It's always sooo hard coming back from Peru because I hate leaving there. Everytime I go there, I feel so at home and so at peace with everything that is going on there. I love the people. I love the culture. I love pretty much everything about Peru. However, a 10 day trip is just as short as it sounds, and my time in Peru this year has past. I met so many new people there this year, and I am longing to keep those friendships and strengthen the ties. I'm sad that I can't be there to continue the friendship in person. However, I did get some e-mail addresses and I know that God will work through some of the people I met and will continue to talk to. I can't wait to see them again.

But for now, I'm back to my life as a working girl.

This interior design world is almost a paradox for me. I love interior design, and I know that I could make a great career out of it and I know that God's plan was for me to go to Anderson for Interior design. But at the same time, I also know that God's plan for my college studies also directly led me into the opportunities that Peru holds for me. I can't ignore that. I love Peru so much and I feel called to Peru to work there; at least for awhile. So after graduation, I will have two months to attend Ruth's wedding and then Marcus' wedding and then I will leave for Peru to live there for awhile teaching at the English language institute. I'm not afraid at all about moving to Peru or what the outcome will be, mostly because I feel peace from God about it. We sing in songs all the time I will follow where you lead, and every part about that is true for me. I have absolutely no qualms about it.

Whatever support money needs to be raised will come. I'm not worried about student loans or probably anything that I should normally be worried about. There's a tiny question inside of me that says "Are you ever going to do interior design?" And my answer is, "I have no idea" Right now I can see two paths that might happen, 1) I move to Peru and love it and love my time there and then come back to the states to start working. 2) I move to Peru and love it and love my time there and God calls me into being a career missionary. I'm fine with either, as long as it's God's will for me.

I was telling some of my coworkers yesterday about my trip to Peru and I told them that I probably would move down there after Graduation to work at the english language institute. The responses were great, some people said "Oh that's awesome" or "Oh that's so great!" and then one of my coworkers Larry asked how long I would be there for, and when I told him 6-9 months, he said "That's great, you're probably never coming back you know" And when I asked what made him say that he said "Because you obviously love it and you're not going to want to leave!" And my first automatic reaction inside was "I hope I don't ever leave!" And I wasn't scared about that thought at all. I didn't even phase me to think that I could do that forever. So I guess that's all to say that my prayer in my life is that wherever I am, whatever I am doing, whether it is working as an interior designer and making money or working as a missionary or whatever it is, I pray that God will lead me one step at a time. I used to think that I had my whole life figured out that I would go to college and be a great designer right out of school work for 35 years and love every second of it, but now I have no idea what I'll be doing 2 years from now, and I am more than ok with that. God has led me so many amazing places thus far, and for me to try and give Him suggestions on what he should want me to do for my life would be insane, and even more than that, I would miss out so much. Who knows where God will take me? I definitely don't, but I don't have to worry about that. I am at peace no matter where I go because I have God leading me. Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit!