what is it about getting away? the simple act of just removing yourself from a location obviously won't solve a problem, unless the problem lies within the location. For instance, should you happen to be standing knee deep in a tank full of leeches, then removing yourself from that location will probably help alot. But other than that, really. We try so hard to deal with the struggles of everyday life, to deal with work, school, family, friends, and everything else in between and then eventually, as if we didn't know it before, we find that we can't. We just go until we get to that place where you just "have to get away."
I think I've reached it. I'm ready for Spring Break, I'm ready to go home and not worry about my Anderson life. Sometimes I feel like I kind of live in two different worlds. When I'm home, I'm home and my Colorado life is my Colorado life and every pressure or struggle or whatever from my South Carolina life can't touch me. I of course realize that I have to keep up with the South Carolina world because those pressures will still be there when I get back, but it's like I'm Mario, when he gets the star for a little bit. You can just fly through the level. Who cares about the goombas or the Koopa Troopas, they can't touch you when you're invincibile.
So that's basically what my plane ticket home is. My temporary invincibility. As whatever as it is to move 1500 miles away to go to college, sometimes it's really nice to know that my South Carolina world is far enough away that I can escape it when I need to, but also to know that it and the people in that world will still be there for me when I need it and them to be.
so that's my first thought of the day, just the whole "I'm ready to go" thought, and I suppose my next thought somewhat stems from that. So...I'm getting older and I, naturally, have grown as a person. I was reflecting today now that I am a senior junior (I technically have the credit hours for a senior, but I will graduate still in a year) and it's really interesting to me to see how my outlook on alot of things has changed. I've always kind of been the uptight one when it comes to schoolwork and my future and though I believe that that side of me has served me well. I'm not sure I would have tried so hard in different things if I wasn't that uptight about grades. Well, I feel like I've loosened up alot as far as my future plans go. Before, I would absolutely freak out about not knowing where I was going to end up in life, or if I didn't know every last iota of information about what was going to happen. But now, I don't know...it's just different. I'm not concerned so much about knowing exactly where I will be and what I will be doing in 2 years and all that stuff. I have absolutely no idea what is going to happen. I might end up doing interior design, I might find something else to do and never look back. mission work has been on my heart alot. Maybe not as a lifetime thing, but definitely for a few months or years or decades...who knows. Sometimes I try to think about what I would do differently if I could start all over with the college search and major/minor decision and everything, but everytime I come up with the same conclusion- I don't think I would change anything. Maybe I won't end up in Interior design, but that doesn't make my experiences these past 3 years pointless. I guess I just don't see the benefit in starting over, when I can just build on to what I already have. I think I picture it kind of like a house. My house so far has been great, exactly what I've needed, but maybe (in the not too distant future) I'm going to need something different or bigger or...whatever, so why should I move to a new house that won't contain the same features of my old house that I might still end up using later? Just add on! Besides...that saves the trouble of getting a realtor anyway. So that's my second thought of the day. Basically, I'm ok with not knowing, and I actually somewhat enjoy the not knowing (much to my former self's surprise). Who knows?
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