Coffee shop + Headphones + Laptop = New blog entry post

Perhaps I fit the stereotype of a college student too much, but I really love spending alot of time in coffee shops with my music playing and my big books scattered in front of me along with the laptop where I "pen" my deep and intellectual thoughts that are spilling over in my mind.

Well, I don't know about that exactly, I think I break the stereotype with the way that I go about my coffee shop time. Especially about last part, my thoughts are not usually worth spilling out to anyone, but I do like to write sometimes. And I'm not playing acoustic indie music, right now I'm listening to classical music, and will probably be following that with some disney music, or some british underground rap (it's true). And the books I have scattered in front of me is one book that I'm skimming at best. Oh well, at first glance you would probably think I'm a trendy, intelligent college student that has something philosophical to mull over.

I'm not sure I was going anywhere with this post today. I feel like alot of my posts this year are going to end up being very retrospective because of the nature of senior year, and I'm trying to avoid that as much as possible. I mean the last 4 years have been great, and it's probably good to look back on what type of person I am and how far I've come yadda yadda yadda, but you can only do that a few times before you're just too darn schmaltzy. Who even likes that? That's right no one.

That and my space bar key isn't working very well, so it takes me double the amount of time to type things because I have to lambaste the space bar until it works. It's very convenient.

Oh Dionne...

So, let's start from the beginning. Every year Anderson, SC has a giant fireworks celebration over labor day weekend on that Sunday and the Anderson professional orchestra plays during the fireworks and sometimes they'll even have a B or C list singer come and join in for the festivities. Well this year, the symphony (which I played for this year by the way) had the most awesome opportunity of playing with the illustrious Ms. Dionne Warwick. At this point in the story I usually get one of two questions- the first- Really? Dionne Warwick??? The other- "Who's that?" Well for those of you prone to the second question, most of my contemporaries know her best for "I say a little prayer for you" which was made oh so popular in the movie My Best Friend's wedding, she's also Whitney Houston's Aunt and was the late night singing host for the Psychic Friend's Network. So she has quite the past.

Anyway, Ms. Warwick came to little ol' Anderson, South Carolina to sing at the Celebrate Anderson Bash and oh....my.......word. She is nuts.

I had never met a celebrity before, and even though she yelled at people...a lot, I have to be honest. I am fascinated with her now, because she's so crazy. She is truly a Diva in all sense of the word. I wish I had the time to write about all the funny things that happened, but number one, I've told most everyone I know already, and number two- there's alot, so unfortunately if you want the full effect, you will have to contact me because my friends, it is most certainly a treat.

Anyway, I do have time for one "Dionne Warwick is Crazy" story. So she comes out in some long flowy attire to sing her signature song "That's What Friends are For" and while she begins to sing, one of the fans down in the front row takes out his video camera. (quick interjection- Dionne Warwick Fans are a little loopy too) So she's singing and then she sees this guy and it is like Jekyll and Hide. It's funnier if you hear me say it, but we'll try our best to get by. It went something like this

Dionne- (singing and swaying to her own music)
Keep smilin', keep shinin'
Knowin' you can always count on me...for sure...That's what friends are for
For Good times *turnthatcameraoff right now
For Bad Times *Isaidshutitoff
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for

No joke. In the middle of this concert, in the middle of her song no less she quickly scolds this man for having a camera. It was HILARIOUS. I have so many stories now. It was a wonderful first celebrity encounter. I'm personally really glad it happened, just because it was so funny. You can't buy that sort of stuff just anywhere.

Don't quit your day job.

This has been one of those days. One of those days when I get pensive and then frustrated with the fact that I am not a songwriter or poet or painter or genius of any sort. This has been one of those days when I get the great urge inside of me to create something, but then feel overwhelmed with my limitations.

I feel the need to sit and just write and write words that are meaningful and full of depth and beauty, and then I realize that I'm not a writer.

I feel the need to sit down with a guitar, or at the piano, or with my cello and write a memorable sonata or melody that calms the soul, and then I realize that I don't play the guitar, I don't have a piano to play, nor am I musically proficient enough to compose.

I feel the need to grab my paintbrushes and materials and create a landscape or pastoral scene or moving abstract on a blank canvas, and then I realize that I'm not a painter.

I won't even touch on what sort of genius I'm not. I think that one's obvious.

Anyway, this mood strikes me every once in a while. The mood that I must somehow pour out some of this need to present myself in an artistic way, and then the realization that whatever I pour out will not be backed by the fundamental skills necessary to satisfy a standard of artistic expression. Is that my own criticism of myself coming through, or an inferiority complex of what society might deem artful expression? Now, whether or not society views something as artistic expression is moot. Artistic Expression, as far as I'm concerned anyway, needs only to meet the standards of the expresser, as it is something that is created by an individual for the benefit of the individual. So...why do I get frustrated with myself for not "being able" to express myself?

No, that's not a rhetorical question. I really don't know so I would appreciate any insight.

Well anyway, that was my feeble attempt at something that feels somewhat philosophical, but probably isn't in the slightest. I probably shouldn't quit my day job.

Anyway, on the fluffier side of life, school has been great! Except for that oh so lovable interior design professor, everything in my life has been smooth sailing. I love my housemates, and I haven't been struck with the panic of many a Senior trying to figure out what the "h" I will be doing with my life after graduation. If there is one thing that I have learned in my life that God really beat into me is the fact that the unknown is nothing to fear. I don't know what I will be doing a year from now. I have absolutely no idea where I'll be living, who I will be friends with, if I'll be making any sort of money (that's normally the scary one) or any of that stuff. But! The good news is that I don't have to worry about that, because I enjoy watching God unfold his will for me. I used to spend so much time worrying about the next day and the next week and month that I barely had time to stop and see the everyday workings of God in my life. Which is the best part. That's the part that I've come to love, the everyday.

Don't think I'm perfect. Not that you do, but that's me telling myself that. I stumble and worry and at the first sign of trouble (especially financial) I start shaking in my boots and try to figure out things for myself, which usually turns out poorly. But God is still working and that's the promise that allows me to breathe a little bit and rest in the comfort of His word.

So for me, the old "What are you going to do after you graduate?" -the most infamous and perhaps most dreaded question of college Seniors no longer holds the same weight as it once did. What am I doing? We'll see. Right now, I think I'm moving to Peru for a year after I graduate and then eventually getting back around to interior design in Denver. But I wouldn't go to the bank on that. =)

God's Blessings!
"Many are the Plans in a Man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails" Proverbs 19:21