I've come to write on you again.... Anyway, so I suppose it's been a few days since I last posted something, almost 2 weeks but those 2 weeks were quite possibly some of the most jam packed weeks I've experienced. Last week especially. Lots of things happened, too many things happened. I didn't really enjoy it all that much. Now, I don't want to be one to be all morose about things, but I will retrospect for a tid bit. Ok, so this past week, my schedule was inhuman. Among extra rehearsals for string ensemble and orchestra, RUF, playing for Collin, playing for Joseph, playing for church, String ensemble concert thursday, birthday Friday, dress rehearsal saturday, formal saturday, church Sunday, Concert Sunday, another all nighter for my design project that was due monday, my parent's visiting from Thursday to Sunday, visiting my aunt and uncle sunday, and oh yeah classes on top of that, I was at the end of my rope. I was so frustrated because I was being pulled in 15 different directions, and none of them were my own. I know that I do alot and I volunteer for alot of stuff, but some of it I didnt volunteer for, and I think I was (and possibly still am) at the point where I just want everyone to leave me alone. I love helping out with things and all that jazz, but I feel like after I would say yes to one thing, others started just expecting me to do things sometimes without even asking. But I don't want to make myself out to be a martyr or anything, but I need a break. When you're too busy that you forget your own birthday, and then realize that you're too busy and tired to celebrate it, it's a problem. I'm stressed and exhausted, I have a knot in my shoulders the size of Iowa and I've lost control of my life, but this isn't a new thing for me. This has been going on all year and I'm sick of it. I've done just about everything short of selling my soul to try and get ahead and please people and impress people and I don't know why I do it. Why do I do it? I thought that this semester was going really great and that things were getting back into order, but this last month has just been utter chaos again. I need sleep. I need a break. And I really need to get out of Anderson for 3 months. I can't even think of anything else right now except making it this last week and then not even thinking about school until august. which is exactly what I need. The problem is, will I have the energy and/or motivation to finish out this last week, because I'm not sure I do. People don't believe me when I tell them I'm thisclose to just quitting school right now. They think I'm to committed for that and that I would never make such a rash decision. Sometimes I wish I would make rash decisions like that and totally blow everyone's expectations including mine. Expectations are a funny thing... Anyway, enough from lake woebegone. Sorry my first post back was little more than melancholic. Oh well,
...and the vision that was planted in my brain still remains within the sound of silence.
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