Music is what feelings sound like.

I realize that my last few posts have been a little less than extraordinarily upbeat. I don't like to be the type of person that contemplates to a point of exhaustion/depression. I obviously would much rather write about the wonderful things in life like flowers and the smell in the air during a spring night and other things that remind me how glorious God's creation is, but the Christian life is not without struggles and everyone has them. I happen to be struggling through some things right now, maybe not struggles as things that I need to sort out about myself and my place in the world and other things and what place they have in my life. Again, I know I'm probably not making much sense right now, but it's the truth, I don't have any answers or sagacious things to share. Bear with me, I'm still working through things.
On a different note, I played cello tonight for my friend Collin's CD that he's recording. (Ha Ha, I just noticed my pun...different NOTE! Sorry) The cello is an amazing stress reliever for me. Even if I suck, I can just get lost in the tones that come out from my instrument. And the more I play, the more I find out that if I just lose myself to the music and the cello, the better it is. Anyone can be trained on an instrument, but to really play that instrument, there has to be a passion there. Someone once said "Play the Music, not the instrument." I think that's one of the areas that I've really grown as a "musician" in the last few years. I mean, I've only been playing for like 6 years, so I guess in the last half of my career, I've tried to work on just letting the music take over and focusing on what I want to put into the cello which will come out anyway, rather than just playing the notes. I don't even know if that makes sense. I was listening to NPR one day ( I know, I'm a nerd) and Yo Yo Ma was on there, and he was talking about this song he was playing and he described it in such an artistic manner, you could truly tell that he wasn't just playing a song, he was creating a work of art right before the listeners. I think it was Stokowski that said something along the lines of "A painter paints on a canvas, but a musician paints on silence." Isn't it amazing the gift that God has blessed us with? I love it. Music is way too big a part of myself and my identity to ignore or move away from. If I did, I would lose myself.