My name is Gillian, and yes, I am an overachiever. Denver, Colorado will always be my home, although I am currently in Anderson, South Carolina attending Anderson College majoring in Interior Design and minoring in Music. This is my life...
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
The hardest thing is to love someone and have the courage to let them love you back
so I don't usually post things about love and falling in love and all that mushy stuff, but I saw The Wedding Date on Monday and one of the characters said that and I thought, Hmm... I think if ever I were to fall in love, that would apply to me. But I don't really want to expound too much upon that right now, but it did make me think a little bit about myself. Well anyway, enough blabber right now, other than that, nothing terribly exciting has been happening Except I am a little perturbed with my computer aided design (CAD) professor. Ok heres the story. about 3 weeks ago, we had a project due and we were supposed to print it out in class to turn in, well somewhere between 11:30 that afternoon when I finished and 6:30 that night when it was due my file got corrupted somehow, and I couldn't open it, so the professor Warren Verdin tells me he'll call the computer guy and sort it out. Well the next week, he tells me that his computer guy from his work couldn't fix it and that it was going to be my responsibility to call the school's computer guy. Well pardon me, but I don't think that should be the student's responsibility in the first place because I can't help it if the school has crappy equipment. But, I digress, Anyway, so tuesday night, I'll be honest I forgot, and I told him on thursday that I didn't get a chance to call him yet, and he gets mad at me. So I try on Friday to call Doug Davison, the AC computer guy, and I get a message machine saying he'll be out of town for the next week, So I tell Mr. Verdin this and he gets mad at me again, but I left a message for the computer guy telling him the problem and everything that needs to be fixed fully expecting him to be able to fix it. Well no sir, that is not the case. So this past Tuesday rolls around and I get to class and Mr. Verdin asks if my computer is fixed yet, and I say Mr. Davison hasn't contacted me yet, but I left him a very detailed message. Well Mr. Verdin gets really angry and tells me that I need to get this taken care of and this problem needs to be fixed right away and that I should tell Mr Davison that if this doesn't get fixed by this week, he's going to drop me a full letter grade. And after he says this he goes "That should put the fear of God into both of you" I won't write everything that I thought at this point, but needless to say I was kind of upset. I cannot help it one bit if our computers suck, and once again, maybe this is debatable, but I still don't think it's the student's responsibility to be a maintenance worker for the computers that need to be taken out back and shot anyway. besides, I've done all he's asked of me as far as getting in touch with mr. Davison, and what sort of crack cocaine is he smoking that would make him think that threatening me with the grade is going to make Mr. Davison care one ounce about getting the job done faster. I'm sorry but the Anderson College information services department is not world reknowned for their speedy service, or even decent service for that matter. Anyway I'm a little upset about that, and if I get a poor grade because of someone else not doing his job in a manner that is acceptable to the professor than I'm going to appeal it. That is a problem between the computer department and the professor. Well, that's my rant for tonight, I could right more, but I probably shouldnt.
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2 comments:
i'm not as sure that letting someone love you is the hardest thing, but i guess if i remove the independent clause from the dependent then i'd be correct. but maybe together that's a true statement. i think it's harder in my mind to love someone silently, remaining outwardly static while inside your mind swirls. But i think it makes me think of God, the fact that he loves us while we dont love him, while we ignore him and choose to love others who will never love us like he will. i suppose though, that a person unaccustomed to vulnerability would feel that the hardest thing is to allow yourself to be loved.i feel as if i may have made a snap judgement though sorry my view point is slightly biased as i just watched casablanca
An excellent movie as well as an excellent point. I suppose your past circumstances though would also have something to do with what you infer from it. True, I am not accustomed to vulnerability. I think it's interesting that you put it that way, but that is what love is I suppose, putting your heart into the hands of another, which automatically makes you vulnerable. It's not weak, but it is risky, and for one such as I who often ends up trying to do everything myself, including protecting my feelings, the thought of letting another person into this unseen fortress I've created around my feelings is probably harder for me to swallow than most. I've been told I have a cold heart, but it's easier for me to downplay emotions rather than end up getting hurt. Maybe I'm not romantic, maybe deep down I am, I've never been in a situation that would tell me truly, but I have full confidence that if God has chosen someone for me, then God will give that person the patience and ability to deal with my egocentric tendencies long enough to realize that there is an entrance to my heart, it's just a little more guarded than some others. I appreciate the comment, curious as to the author's identity, but at very least intrigued with a thought provoking paragraph.
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